Worji Matul: Life Behind the Curtains

Looking at everything bright and glittery. Her life seems to be every girl’s dream, turned into reality.  She has the right look, the right style, the right car, the right address and even the right man. Every time we think of her we think “why am I not her”? This is what my life should be. If I had a quarter of what she has (especially the address) I will die fulfilled.

The power of illusions drive us – towards all that is beautiful and frivolous. We are madly ambitious just to be able to acquire “things”. We kill, back-bite, cheat, prostitute just to acquire “things”.

I ask myself, when did these things become so important. Why do these things determine our value and self worth?

Let’s go back to the perfect woman; if you pull open the curtains and go behind the scene, chances are that you will find rot, sloth and every creepy thing that will make your skin crawl. Or not.

I think we should question ourselves: what drives me? Why am I ambitious ? What are my fears, and from whence do they come? Do my fears show my values? The values of my society? When we look for the answers to these questions sincerely in our hearts, will show us what we have behind our curtains. Behind the masks of civilisation that we all wear.

Personally I am driven by a fear of “never having enough”,  of going hungry, of not being able to extend a helping hand because I am stretched past my limit, a fear of “please manage”, a fear of not being able to buy that hot pair of shoes I just fell in love with and might never wear and a burning desire to have the right address (bite me). I am honest enough with myself to know that this influences my choice of a life partner – even though it makes me deeply ashamed. It makes me ask the question: what are my true values?

I can only admit to this because it’s the Internet and I am anonymous. I am also aware that I have the luxury to ask myself these questions because of the advantages in the environment in which I live and that it might be different for others.

I think it is an important conversation to have because it will show us for what we are and our true values. Questioning things is the first step in understanding, even if only on a personal level.

What are your drivers? Thank God the anonymity of the Internet can permit us to be honest.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime

  About Worji Matul

Worji is currently earning her living as a Recruiter for a HR firm while dreaming about her ideal life and self. Unfortunately the dreams are long on ideals and very very short on workable plans